


I'll Be There For You

by killajokejosie



Category: Friends, Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Arguing, Declarations Of Love, Established Mycroft Holmes/Greg Lestrade, F/F, Fluff, Hospitals, Implied Irene Adler/Sherlock Holmes, Irene is smarter than John and Molly, John Watson is a hot head, M/M, Mycroft is baby crazy, Sherlock cares a little bit, Vents, based on a few episodes of Friends, janitors, only because it is John, picking out baby names is hard to do, you don't need to know Friends to get it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-16
Updated: 2014-01-16
Packaged: 2018-01-08 22:18:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1138060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/killajokejosie/pseuds/killajokejosie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On the day Mary goes into labor, everyone goes crazy. John and Molly are arguing, Mycroft decides he wants to be a parent, and Sherlock steals a janitor uniform. And what is with John's family? And Irene? And will Mary and John have a name for their son by the time he is born?</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'll Be There For You

**Author's Note:**

> American. Check. Bored. Check. Lover of weird sitcoms and Sherlock. Check again.

"I think there are people having sex in there," John's father blurted out in the middle of the maternity ward of the hospital.

For just one second, maybe just a half of a second, John and Sherlock contemplated going over to listen at the door of the maintenance closet, but they brushed it to the side where it belonged. There were more important things going on today than people having sex in a hospital. For one, John's son would be born today. John did have something else to say to Sherlock, but was distracted out of it by his father. It would have to wait.

Harry, John's recovering alcoholic sister, was still game for the door. She followed her father over and gave it a listen. It didn't take long for her to discover that it was two men, most likely the two men missing from the group that had brought her frantic, panicky brother to the hospital. Sherlock's brother and Detective Lestrade. That was who it was.

***

John walked into his ex-wife's room. Her lover, the shocking Miss Molly Hooper, was holding her hand. The sight made John cringe. Over the last nine months he and Molly had done nothing, but argue. She was the reason Mary and John were divorced, but she was much too involved with his unborn child. Mary had done her best to keep the peace, especially when they were deciding on a name for the baby, but it was no use. New lover and ex-husband were just not meant to get along.

"Where have you been?" Mary asked, way too sweetly.

"I could have said the same to you, where did you two stop before coming here, the cinema?"

Molly chuckled. "Gift shop. Bought something tiny and too adorable for the baby. Ooo, I also grabbed a chocolate bar, do you want any?"

"No! I don't want any of your bloody chocolate bar!" John shouted back.

"Stop it! Both of you!" Mary screamed as a strong contraction ripped through her lower body. She latched on to the collar of John's shirt to show off her strength, despite her condition.

Molly began stroking Mary's arm. "Just think, when this is all over we will have our little Jamie and all three of us will be parents. That is what matters."

John tried not to say anything. Unfortunately, that was not going to happen. "Jamie!? Our son's name is going to be Jamie!? I thought we had all agreed on Anthony? Anthony Hamish Watson."

"Well..." Molly muttered.

"Well? Well? Mary, why did she say well?"

"Anthony was the name of Molly's first real boyfriend and he was incredibly cruel, so we went back to Jamie. Jamie Michael Hooper-Morstan."

John threw his head back and put his hands over his face. "Hooper-Morstan? Why should her name be included in this and not mine? It wasn't her sperm that made this child."

"Ta. Don't start, John." Mary whispered.

"Don't start? You changed our son's name, took my influence out of his middle name, and you have chosen to put her name in the last name. I don't even get to take him home. I have every right to start. I know, I will compromise, we can name our son, Jamie, even though it will forever remind me of James Moriarty."

"What is the compromise?" Molly asked curiously. 

"Jamie Michael WATSON-Morstan-Hooper,"

"No! Everyone knows he will just be called Jamie Watson. I will love him just as much. Where does that leave me? There is Mother's Day! Father's Day! There is no Lesbian Lover Day!" 

"Everyday is Lesbian Lover Day!" John shouted back histarically.

The obstetrician walked in with a big smile on his face. "How is my favorite parenting team doing today? I hear that you are looking to have a baby, which is good since it appears that you are nine months pregnant."

"Oh, we are just wonderful, Doctor Forman! Every contraction is like a party in my uterus." Mary groaned to compliment the doctor's sarcastic comment.

"Don't worry about that, your baby will be welcomed into the world in no time at all,"

"Can I eat anything? I'm famished."

"Nope. Nothing, but ice chips, Miss Morstan."

"I'll go get you some!" John and Molly shouted in unison. The two ran out the door in pursuit of the one thing that would make them Mary's hero for the day. 

Just as they left, Irene walked in. She just so happened to have a small cup of ice chips in hand.

"Hi, Mary, I thought you might like some ice chips." She said in a sing-song voice. "Wait, where are Molly and John?"

"They stepped out. Honestly, I am glad that they are not here. They were being complete pains. The quiet is peaceful. Thank you."

Irene handed the cup to Mary, but was more focused on the incredibly attractive doctor. "i'm sorry, have we met?"

The doctor turned to Irene. "No, I do not think we have. Shame. Who are you, exactly?"

"I am Irene Adler, Mary's ex-husband's best friend's girlfriend...well, ex now, but we remain friends."

"Well, I am your ex-boyfriend's best friend's ex-wife's obstetrician, Doctor Forman."

All Mary could do was roll her eyes. This was almost as ridiculous as the arguing.

***

Mycroft, Lestrade, Sherlock, and Harry all sat together in the lobby area outside of the maternity ward. They were all unbelievably quiet, except for Sherlock who kept threatening to play his violin if someone didn't keep him from becoming bored. It was still quite a feat that they were being civilized and not starting a minor riot considering all of the strange relationships among them.

A woman was wheeled out with a set of twins. The sight wrenched on Mycroft's heart. He had no idea that he even wanted to be a parent, but it really hit him now. He gave a light squeeze to Lestrade's arm, trying not to be very forward.

Sherlock had been watching, observing everything to a specific point. Though Mycroft and Greg were not out to everyone, he was heavily aware of the relationship. He thought it was disturbing. Still, it was not quite as disturbing as all of the Watsons combined.

"I want one. How come they get two and I do not have any?" Mycroft whined.

Lestrade took his lover's hand. "You really want a baby?"

"Yes, more than anything,"

"Then let's have one. We could adopt or employ a surrogate?"

"Why are you two talking?" Sherlock asked. "It is bothering me."

"Just because you don't have a loving, caring realtionship with someone who would actually want to raise children with you does not mean you should be an arse about it." Lestrade said.

Sherlock sat his violin down beside his chair. "I am going to check on John,"

***

Sherlock found John and Molly arguing in the hall beside the nursery. They were being ridiculously loud.

"The two of you should not be doing all of this out here in the corridors of the maternity ward." Sherlock warned them. "People are being born in here. Do you seriously think the first thing they should hear when they enter the world is the sound of your fighting?"

"He started it!" Molly shouted, pointing a finger at John.

"No, she started it!" John shouted, pointing a finger right back.

Sherlock shoved them both into the maintenance closet that Mycroft and Lestrade had been in earlier. He had deleted that from his memory after Harry told him. Good thing, too.

"Alright, what is going on? Why are you bickering now, in here?" Sherlock asked. "From my understanding, this is supposed to be a good day. You two will have to deal with each other for as long as this child is a part of your lives. You need to stop fighting each other and start working together. Children can be awful, especially if they are anything like me."

"I never thought that you would be the voice of reason at a time like this," John said, flabbergasted by his best friend's sudden level headed words.

"I have been taking mental notes from you. I knew the day would come when you needed help like this." Sherlock proudly explained.

"You're right," John mumbled. "I'm sorry, Molly,"

"I am sorry, as well, John. Let's go back to Mary. She will be needing us soon." Molly said as she went to open the door. It was locked, it wouldn't even budge.

"No! No! What do we do now!? Sherlock, this is your fault!" John shouted, blood boiling and fists clenched.

"It isn't Sherlock's fault, John. He didn't purposely lock us all inside this closet with all of these chemicals...wait, did you do this on purpose?" Molly asked, her fists also now balled up.

"God no! That would be idiotic as all hell. What do you think the police would say when they found our bodies?"

"That it was your fault, you lunatic!" John's face was beat red with anger directed at the usually intelligent consulting detective.

"John, there is no reason to exert so much energy on blaming me when you could be helping to find a way out." Sherlock said as he rumaged through all of the junk. He stopped when he came across a janitoral staff member's uniform. He had this dumb idea that if he put it on his might be able to think of a logical way out.

John became fixated on the ceiling. There was a vent. Surely, Sherlock was small enough to crawl through them. From there he could drop down into the hall and let them out of the closet himself. It was perfect. Plus, John couldn't think of a better person to travel into a slightly dangerous situation then the one who got them into the mess in the first place.

"Sherlock, would you be opposed to climbing up there?"

"I'm not Sherlock, I am hospital worker Stephen," Sherlock laughed, gesturing towards the name badge. "And in case you were wondering, I am above average in height, but I cannot reach that vent."

"That's fine, Molly and I will lift you up," John explained.

"We will?" Molly blurted suddenly.

"Yes, we will," John said sternly.

"Okay, hoist me up, let's do this,"

Molly and John kneeled down. Sherlock climbed on to their shoulders carefully and signaled them to stand back up. It would have been easier, except that John had not anticipated how heavy Sherlock actually was. They stumbled slightly before becoming stable.

"God damn, Sherlock, you weigh a ton," John grumbled.

"How can someone who eats so little feel like such a sack of bricks? What do you weigh?"

"Apparently as much as a sack of bricks?" Sherlock groaned. "Thanks."

"Stop talking. More removing of the vent." John told him as he tried to shift the pressure of the massive foot on his good shoulder.

The vent cover crashed on to the floor. Sherlock grabbed the side of the vent and pulled himself up. He got caught at the waist due to the size constraints of the ventilation system.

"What do you see, Sherlock?" Molly asked.

"Air ducts, vents,"

"Do you see a light or anything of use?" John said, getting irritable again.

"I do see a light," 

The door to the maintenance closet swung open. Molly and John went running without a second thought. Sherlock was still half way in the vent, hanging.

"Oi! You forgot your legs!" Called the janitor, but they were already too far down the hall. "Um, do you need any help up there?"

"Not too much. Is the second light to my left over delivery?"

"Yes,"

"Good, good," Sherlock called down. "Appreciate it,"

Sherlock pulled himself up into the vent. He would crawl there anyways, as if his life depended on it.

***

"WHERE ARE THEY!?" Mary screamed. She was fully dialated and it would only be a matter of minutes before the doctor had her start pushing.

"I'm sure that they will be here any minute," Irene assured her.

"Come to think of it, where is my brother?" Mycroft asked out loud, just now realising Sherlock's absence.

Molly and John busted in. Mary breathed in a sigh of relief. The two people she needed the most had finally made their way back.

"Where did you go?" She asked them.

"Not important right now," John whispered.

"We are ready to push. There are too many people in this room and there is about to be one more. IF you are not the mother, the father, or the lesbian life partner, get out!" The doctor shouted.

John got brave. While Molly coached Mary through the last stage of delivery and held her hand, John watched everything up close. He was a doctor after all. He had never delivered a baby, but he had a medical and emotional interest in this.

"Oh my! There's a head, and a little face! Shoulders! They are wide. Mary, how are you doing this!? There is his navel and...he is a boy! Definitely a boy! My goodness, he is amazing..."

The doctor allowed John to cut the cord. The nurses cleaned off the newborn and returned him to the three new parents. Both Molly and John took turns admiring the baby. Mary was amazed that they weren't fighting.

"So, have we decided on a name?" Mary asked. "Without arguing about it."

"Stephen Hamish," Molly said, beaming. 

"Yes, Stephen Hamish Morstan-Hooper," John added.

"Really? I didn't know that we were thinking about Stephen?" Mary said, lightly pushing a finger against the baby's button nose.

"I don't know," John whispered. "It just sort of came to us."

"Yes, that is what we were really doing. We agreed not to come back until we decided on a name." Molly explained further, creating a wonderfully elaborate lie that saved them both.

"Stephen," Mary giggled and the baby appeared to smile. "Stephen it is."

One of the ceiling vents popped open. Sherlock dropped through it. He whipped the uniform off and ruffled his hair. He approached John, who was staring at him with his mouth agape. "Thank you for leaving me back there," He said with a smirk and a smack to the back of his best friend.

"I had a good reason and you are fine from what I can tell," John spoke slowly, breathing out the pain from the abuse.

"Is that him?" Sherlock asked when he laid eyes on the baby.

"No, this one is a loner," Mary said sarcastically, shaking her head.

"I'm not used to this sort of thing. Can I see him?" 

"Yes, of course," Mary replied. She had always found Sherlock to be the epitomy of insanity and chaos, but even when she tried her hardest she still kind of liked him.

John handed the bundle to Sherlock. "Stephen, this is your godfather, Sherlock. You might think he is a little bit strange and he occasionally will have things around his flat that bother you, but that just means you have to love him extra so that nothing bad happens to him." 

"Godfather?" Sherlock repeated the incredibly foreign word as he cradled John's son. 

John was only a few inches from Sherlock. He loved the sight of the self proclaimed sociopath holding a child. It was beautiful. "Mary and I decided it last week. If something happens to us, responsibility of Stephen falls to you and Molly. We could think of no one else better to raise him."

Sherlock inhaled the scent of Stephen's head through his baby cap. He looked like he had just taken a hit off of a cigarette. "He looks like you, John. He is a rather attractive baby. You did well."

John took the baby back. "Sherlock..."

"Yes, John?"

John took a deep breath. "I love you, Sherlock. I love you, so much. Seeing you, holding my son, it makes me realise how long I have loved you like this. It makes me want to have more babies...with you."

Doing their best not to squish the child, the two moved closer to each other. The fact that Molly and Mary were watching was the least of their concerns.

"I love you, too, I always have,"

Their lips met. Years of feelings slipping out in one passionate lip lock. It could not have been more perfect. It would have been better had the doctor not opened the door and allowed the rest of the party to enter the room again.

Mycroft quickly took the baby. "My, he is adorable," 

Mycroft had just been the start. Baby Stephen was passed around from person to person. He was loved more than he would ever know. His extended family, though not all related, was the best dysfunctional group of people to be raised by. At least that is what his father thought. 

Mrs. Hudson had arrived late, but she hadn't missed that John and Sherlock were standing off to the side seemingly with their hands intertwined. "Molly and Mary are engaged, that Inspector is with Sherlock's Brother, when are you two going to get married and bring me some babies to look after. I just think Sherlock would make a wonderful mother. I will prove it. Mary, do you mind? This baby is like a grandchild to me."

Mrs. Hudson brought Stephen back over to her boys. "Now, dears, doesn't that feel natural?"

Sherlock took the baby's hat and stuffed it in his pocket discreetly. "John, why do I have the odd feeling that you were going to tell me this earlier?"

John shrugged. It hadn't been planned, but he thought it worked out. "Because you love me as much as I love you, and because it is true,"

"Should we get married, in the future?" Sherlock asked.

"Yeah, but let's at least go on one date first, okay?"

"I can deal with that,"

They kissed again. Then, out of the blue, their friends and family whistled in approval. That just egged them on further.

"See?" Lestrade muttered to the other Holmes. "I told you that John was his lobster!"

THE END?


End file.
